Breathing Life
I'm in Colorado this week, here to see one of my most treasured friends in the whole wide world—Kevin Walker. More than a friend, he is a spiritual father. A mentor. A source of truth and life to me and my family for more than a decade.
Kevin has burkitt's-like lymphoma. The recent reports on Kevin’s fight against cancer had not been very encouraging. Last week in a phone conversation I had told Kevin that I was planning on bringing the family to see him some time over the holidays. He responded, explaining if I wanted to see him, I should probably come now.
Kevin is sick.
Greatly concerned, I scheduled a flight for the earliest possible date I could—made all the arrangements—and began getting excited about seeing my friend. It's been more than two years since we last saw each other. I've been in Florida; he's been here in Colorado. Our travel schedules just never lining up allowing us to bump in to one another. I've really missed him.
Prior to this long term absence, we spent considerable amounts of time with one another. We worked together, met frequently over lunch, did double dates with our spouses together. We were practically joined at the hip.
But, I found myself wondering what Kevin would be like now more than two years later—and fighting cancer. I just wasn't sure what to expect.
The ride from Denver went fast. I soon found myself sitting in the driveway, my friend waiting inside the house. I fumbled with the seatbelt, nervous—anxious to see my friend—scared to see my friend. The front door opened and I entered the house. Kevin called down from the upstairs. I thought to myself, "His voice sounds the same!"
As he slowly made his way down the steps I could see immediately that the chemotherapy treatments and other meds he is now on has had a dramatic effect on his balance and endurance. I met him at the bottom of the stairs and caught him in my arms, giving him a big bear hug! It was a long Kevin Walkerish-type hug. If you've ever really hugged Kevin, you know what I'm talking about.
My heart was happy to be with my friend, in the embrace of a spiritual daddy! It was sweet. I didn't want to let go! But, I finally did, allowing him to find his seat. I was finally able to see his face fully.
His hair has completely gone now—nothing on his face or head. He doesn’t look quite right without his Bozo-the-clown-like hairdo crowning the sides and back of his head. There is a knot on his head where a port is inset for draining spinal fluid and injecting chemo into his spinal column. He’s lost weight.
Kevin is sick.
He explains that the antibiotic is tearing up his stomach. The regimen of chemotherapy has resulted in his feeling weak and tired more frequently. But, the last treatment has had a positive impact on stopping the growth of the tumor. They caution, “We’re still in a holding pattern for another week or so…”—at which point the oncologist will be able to determine whether the treatment was a success or not.
BUT, as I set and talk with Kevin and Julie—I can see it in their faces—hear it in their voices. They are full of hope and expectancy. They are optimistic. There is no giving up in either of them. I am encouraged at their spirit!
Kevin might be sick—but, he’s still the same Kevin I’ve always known. I see JESUS in him. I hear JESUS words coming from Kevin’s mouth. Julie too. They are both breathing life. They are the same. Nothing has changed. Kevin is sick—but, it’s JESUS I see looking back at me through Kevin’s eyes.
We visit more. We laugh a whole lot. We remember good times we’ve shared together. We enthusiastically agree that our GOD is good.
My heart is less troubled and more at ease now. I sense GOD in this place. No matter what the outcome, the FATHER is in the midst of these matters. HE intends good for my friend. HE intends good for HIS servant. I know HE will use this situation for good.
Job 36:15 (TEV) says, “…but GOD teaches people through suffering and uses distress to open their eyes.”
LORD, open eyes. Use YOUR servant Kevin in his time of sickness to teach us more of YOUR goodness. Bless my friend and his family LORD. I’m asking YOU for a touch of YOUR healing hand. Heal my friend, YOUR servant. Work a miracle. And, Thank YOU, FATHER, for this time with my dear friend Kevin Walker.
I’m asking the FATHER to heal my friend. Would you join me in that prayer?
3 R’s
Faith like a child... it seems GOD has been doing some extended teaching on what it means to have faith like a child.
These last few months of transition from Florida back to Texas have not exactly been the most detailed of my life! We were certain of the timing to move home... just not certain what we'd be doing once we got here. We've discovered anew what it means to live day by day, dependent on the FATHER for each moment!
It’s been a good thing. Sparse on detail, but good nonetheless—it’s been a time of Refreshing... Renewing... and Realignment.
Refreshing :: we pretty much had a month of doing absolutely nothing. That was good for our bodies! The last dozen years have come at us pretty fast and at a non-stop pace! There have not been any rest stops to speak of along the way. The "forced" time off was good for our family! And though we wrestled with the lack of daily activity, we're now thankful for the breather!
Renewing :: the downtime enabled us to unplug from routine long enough to create some new patterns of thought and activity. This too was good for our whole family! The lack of normal routine left us in a tailspin, but resulted in a healthier lifestyle!
Realignment :: this has come through simple reminders. Though there have been moments of doubt and lots of unanswered questions, FATHER has gently been reassuring us and continues to speak HIS pleasure over our lives and ministry. The one thing that has remained clear is a thorough understanding of who we are in CHRIST and the work HE has given us to do.
I’m thanking GOD this morning for HIS goodness towards me and my family.
How are you doing? Have you slowed down from the busy pace of your life lately to focus some on the 3-R’s?
Are you living in a fantasy or a GOD-commissioned reality?
I had an encouraging conversation with friends last night—friends, who for some time have been hurting and struggling with finding balance and purpose in their lives. Religion kills, and these friends have been through the ministry wringer as it were and I for a time have sensed the internal struggle that was going on. However, I have not been sure how to help, other than pray and be available.
No one likes painful experiences and everyone wants to hurry through the uncomfortable circumstances as quickly as possible! Sometimes lessons can only be learned by slowly walking through the fire. Often it’s in those fires that we begin to question everything—our purpose, our calling, our lives—only to emerge on the other side with greater understanding and resolve about all of these things.
For me, the last few months in Florida were a difficult fire I had to endure. And, the month of September was a difficult month of trying to comprehend what it is that FATHER is doing with us. BUT, I have emerged from the last few months with a peace about who I am in CHRIST and what it is that HE has given me to do. My mission has not changed—only the setting.
My authority does not come from any popular vote of the people, nor does it come through appointment of some human higher-up. It comes directly from JESUS the MESSIAH and GOD the FATHER, who raised HIM from the dead. I’m GOD-commissioned. So, I greet you with grace and peace! We know the meaning of those words because Jesus Christ rescued us from this evil world we’re in by offering HIMSELF as a sacrifice for our sins. GOD would that we all experience that rescue!
GOD has called us each to that same sort of sacrificial living. That means surrendering ALL of our life to HIS purposes. Even our dreams belong to HIM. That doesn’t mean we can’t have dreams. BUT we must be willing to accept a difficult reality in place of the dream if GOD so asks it of us. Stubbornly hiding in a fantasy world—a make believe reality of what you want your life to look like or your ministry to be—is ministry porn according to @edstetzer! He says, “It’s a fantasy that ain’t ever going to happen and it ultimately distracts from the real thing GOD is doing.”
Live in the here and now reality! Don’t exchange walking with the FATHER for a fantasy make believe world of your own doing! Paul to the Galatians said, “When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from CHRIST, you fall out of grace. Meanwhile you expectantly wait for a satisfying relationship with the SPIRIT.”
Friends, ministry is a tough place. Living in this reality is not an easy thing. Don’t give up! Hang on. That relationship with the SPIRIT is worth every hardship! AND, your FAHTER has a deeper purpose and plan for you and HE will use the difficulties (you might at this moment be grasping to comprehend) for your greater good!
Hold tight to the things you know to be true. Daily align your heart with HIS. And just be available to be about the things HE has made you for. Eventually, you will emerge from the fog and GOD will provide you some perspective. Doesn’t mean your reality will be any different. BUT, your heart will be, I promise!
TCaB
I’m very excited to announce that I will be teaching and leading worship and serving as the interim worship pastor of the Church at Burleson in the coming weeks/months. This work IS part of the ministry I feel GOD has set before me to do—teaching worship and casting vision for health within worship leaders of the Church.
I’m looking forward to working with TCaB—the worship volunteers, the staff, the elders—and leading this community in worship! I believe FATHER has good in store for us all and I can’t wait to see how HE uses our lives to impact the community and see lives transformed in Burleson!
If you are free on Sunday, come check us out. TCaB is located at 510 SW Wilshire Blvd., in Burleson, Texas.
Bad decisions sometimes make us…
I’m pumped!! Football season has arrived! I spent my Sunday afternoon watching the Cowboys defeat the Bucs with wife (@nerdopansey) and friends (@byronmax and @emaxfield). It was great fun!
Watching a highly conditioned and highly trained athlete play the game is pretty entertaining stuff! Especially as a game gets tight! Remember “the shot” Michael Jordan put up in Game 5 vs the Cavs in 1989? The pressure on, in the clutch, Jordan made the split second decision to put up the buzzer beating shot that resulted in the Bulls winning and moving past the Cavilers! The end result... Jordan = epic hero!
BUT, sometimes split second decisions lead to catastrophic and EPIC failure!
There is an old adage known by military aviators that says, "… the catastrophe has already happened, we're now just waiting for the plane to arrive at the crash site!" What that means is that a catastrophic decision WAS made at some point that WILL result in a wreck... and although the impending crash is still moments away from being fully realized, there is nothing that can be done to alter the trajectory and change the outcome.
Decisions have consequences.
Serena Williams is an athlete who is accustomed to making split second decisions. However, Williams on Saturday night in her US Open match against Kim Clijsters, lost her temper after the line judge called a foot fault, resulting in a double-fault. The result of the call moved Clijsters one point from victory. Williams upset, made a split second bad decision to verbally express her disappointment with the double-fault call. Williams was then penalized a point for her outburst; because it happened to come on match point, it ended the semi-final with Clijsters winning 6-4, 7-5. The end result... Williams = epic failure!
Proverbs 3:5-6 (msg) says, “…trust GOD from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for HIS voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; HE is the ONE who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to GOD! Run from evil! You will glow with health and vibrate with life! Honor GOD in all you do!"
How do you go about making your decisions? Whether they are of the split second variety or whether you have time to consider your options, what process do you go through in making your decisions? Are you totally reliant on your own wisdom and ability to make decisions? Or, do you follow the advice of Solomon, trusting in GOD from the bottom of your heart as you contemplate your decisions?
GOD wants to be involved in and cares about every detail of your daily life. If you have never asked HIM for help in making your decisions, give it a try. I promise, HE won’t disappoint!
Relying on GOD to guide you, make your decisions rather than allowing decisions to make you!
This extraordinary plan of GOD!
It's been rainy all day today... and, I've got to be honest in saying, hibernating in bed was my first choice on how to spend this Saturday! BUT, to be just a bit more honest, I'd have to admit, sleeping the day away was appealing for more than just reasons of overcast and gloomy weather!
I've been wrestling the last few days (and weeks) trying to understand the journey GOD has put us on. It's still not all that clear. I went to bed last night contemplating a number of "tent building" opportunities, hoping I'd wake up with a better sense of direction.
No such luck.
So, I'm still struggling, left with the sense FATHER has brought me home to my beloved TEXAS to continue doing worship ministry of some sort. Just, what exactly that ministry is to be continues to escape my full comprehension.
As I looked at my Twitter feed this morning though, GOD spoke to the issue of my confusion through the following tweet:
"@perrynoble: If GOD called you then HE has also equipped and empowered you... so... get on with it and stop making excuses!"
FATHER reminded me also of the scripture HE had led me to yesterday. I heard HIM saying again, "... all of this is proceeding along lines I have all along had planned out!"
I'm not sure of the specific details just yet. BUT, I know and am sure FATHER has created me to preach, write and sing about the inexhaustible riches and generosity of CHRIST! These are things that are way over my head... and at the moment the specific details of my present assignment are still out of focus. Still, it is HE who has brought me to this place!
So, in agreement with Paul, I know that "my task is to bring out in the open and make plain what GOD, who created all this in the first place, has been doing in secret and behind the scenes all along. Through fully developing followers of JESUS, this extraordinary plan of GOD is becoming known and talked about even among the angels!
When we trust in HIM, we are free to say whatever needs to be said—bold to go wherever we need to go. So don't let my present confusion and uncertainty get you down.
My response is to get down on my knees before the FATHER, this magnificent FATHER who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask HIM to strengthen us by HIS SPIRIT—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that we might live full lives, full in the fullness of GOD!"
The plans for tomorrow are still no more clearer than they were when I started this day... but, I'm reminded that my FATHER has HIS eyes on me. HE is to good to do wrong and to right to be caught off guard! So, my hope is in HIS plans for me and my family.
Let's all hold a tight grip to HIS hand and let HIM lead and be the AUTHOR of our lives!
... twitter feed
